Growing a Second Head...and Getting Stuck in a Pit

Imagine growing a second head over the course of six months. It's bizarre and unfamiliar. You try to cover it, you try to dress it up and show it love, but the fact remains: it's out of place and overwhelming. People don't come right out and say it, but you know they notice it too. Some days you can ignore and almost forget about it, and just when you think you've moved on,  you catch a glimpse of your reflection, and it sends you into a whirlwind of panic, anger, and dissolve into tears.

This is kind of what it's been like for me for the past few months. A lot of changes in such a short period of time is incredibly hard to adjust to. I can't shop for clothes, because every time I try, I leave feeling worthless, ugly, and like I'm trapped in a stranger's body. It essentially sends me into deep despair. It's not just about how I look; it's about how I feel in my own skin: uncomfortable.

On top of all this, I've also been dealing with depression. It's not always a sadness, it's a numbness. It's a dull feeling. I find no joy or interest in anything. I'm empty. Everything seems pointless, boring, exhausting, and/or overwhelming. I won't know what to do with myself. I just want it all to be over. I'm not suicidal, I just wish I was dead. There's a difference. It's hard to find any motivation, and being social feels next to impossible. I just want to hide in my room and be alone. It takes everything to reach out; to call someone, to go out. It's not that I don't love my family and friends. It's that I feel physically ill and too exhausted to paste a smile on my face. I'm terrified to show any negative emotions, so I do my best to hide them. Sometimes it's too much.

I don't know why I feel this way. I wish I didn't. I wish I could just "snap out of it", but the fact is, I can't. I know it's not my fault, but it sure feels like it.

I'm so sorry that this isn't more positive; I just really wanted to let you know what's been going on.
Love to all of you, and as always I appreciate your prayers.

Figuratively Speaking

The other day, I was scrolling my way through one social media or another (I enjoy looking at pictures of funny animals or babies), when I came across an article titled something like “Things girls with small frames and large busts can relate to”. Personally, I cannot relate as I do not possess such “assets”. However, the general topic of such an article is quite common. You can find “Things people with (blank) can relate to” all over the place. The gist of them all is listing comedic struggles and problems you might face if you have/are (blank).  While I tend to like these kinds of posts as I find most of them funny, even if I can’t relate to them, it occurred to me that I have never seen anything like “Things I love about being/having (blank). It might not be as funny, but wouldn’t it be great to have everyone, not just fit, tiny, or muscular people you see in magazines and on TV, celebrating the way they are? No “How to make your waist look smaller” or “Build 20lbs of muscle fast”.  Just people being people and acknowledging and appreciating who and what we are, what we have, and where we are in life. This is a place I’ve been striving to be for years, and although I am far from being able to love my body, or even like it, on more days than I’d care to admit, I might as well try this. “This” being the following list of things I love (or at least can appreciate and/or laugh at. Here goes!

On Being fairly, um, “flat”

I actually love this about myself. I am all about comfort and I don’t need pesky things getting in my way when I run down the stairs. They might not look like pictures of girls I see, but I love it. (Plus I can still sneak into some kids’ clothes, shh!)

On Having Straight, very difficult to curl, Hair

I never have to use a flat iron. I just brush it (unless I forget) and I’m good to go! No need for extra hours spent with a blow-dryer! Also, when I leave my hair in braids for a few days and take it out, it looks pretty cool (that is, until I brush it and it turns Hermione on me).

On Having a somewhat “Boyish” Figure

Call me crazy, but I actually like this about myself. Yes, I have a difficult time dressing it at times, what with having a less well-defined waist, but it’s kind of cool when I strap on a belt and BAM! A waist.  I wouldn’t want any other kind of body. Also, I can pretty much nail a male role in games of pretend (okay, this came in handy more when I was a kid playing “Harry Potter” or “Frodo Baggins”, but still, if Broadway ever calls, I’m game).

On Having Brownish/Hazel Eyes

If nothing else, it’s always fun when people ask what colour my eyes are and I open them wide and say, “You tell me”.

On Having Eczema and other skin issues

I get cool nicknames like “lizard skin” (or lizzie for short).  Also, whenever I try a new skin product (especially face masks), it’s like Russian roulette!

On Being Sensitive

I might not cry for movies, but call me your friend and I’ll be welling up in the corner. I enjoy being in the company of other sensitive souls. I don’t usually make enemies because I try very hard to be kind and considerate to all.

On Being a little High Strung

Everything is very intense, from the book I’m reading to the passionate argument about whether or not they should have made another Spiderman franchise (I’m all about Toby Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, and James Franco). Maybe I should use the word “highly excitable” instead of “high strung”. Waiting for something good, like Christmas, or going on a trip, becomes as much fun as the event itself, which means I get to enjoy the lead-up.

And Finally, on Being Imaginative

Yes, having a strong imagination can lead to nightmares, picturing horrific outcomes, and general worry, it also has its benefits. I can just be sitting and thinking about possibilities, hypothetical scenarios in which I can do whatever I want, and be content for a while. It’s also excellent for stories.

There you have it. As you can see, I tried not to talk about things I dislike (that list is pretty long), but instead celebrated what I do like. Maybe you can relate, and maybe you can appreciate yourself a little more for what you have or don’t have.\

Happy November everyone!

Why?

I was feeling very angry today. I was feeling neglected, emotionally raw, and overwhelmed by the unfairness of it all.
I look around at other people my age and see them thriving. They're in school, or working, or getting married, and I'm stuck. I can't seem to overcome my Everest. I get angry, thinking about how much easier other people seem to have it. They deny it, but I've been on the other side. I used to wonder why people had such problems; why they couldn't be drawn out of whatever worried or saddened them. Now that I've been through my share of trials and despair, I get it.
 
Why did I have to get sick? Why did I have to be anxious? Why did I have to develop an eating disorder? Why did I have to lose so many friends? Why does the rest of my family have to live so far away? Why haven't I found someone to share my life with? Why can't I get a job? Why can't I stop having panic attacks and depression that cripples me? Why can't I get better?
I want to scream at the top of my lungs: "Where are you?"

It's getting harder. That's the bitter truth. My confidence and self esteem have been knocked down. Sometimes I get scared to go to bed, because I'm scared of waking up. I'm scared of having more panic attacks or depression. I'm scared if I tell someone how I feel, they will leave me. The sad part is, it's happened before. And the devil reminds me of that every chance he gets.

People keep saying that it's up to me; that I'm the only one who can give myself the motivation needed for recovery. But how am I supposed to get there? Do I have to hit rock bottom again?
I'm sorry I'm not as far along as I'd like. I'm sorry I still get scared. I'm sorry I still sometimes wish I were dead. I'm sorry I'm not the person I once was, or the person you want me to be.

I don't need you to say you're sorry. I don't need you to say that I'm being brave. I just need you to sit with me and watch a movie. I need you to tell me it's okay to cry. I need you to sip tea with me and talk about stupid stuff like makeup and the latest movie coming out. I need you to invite me over to play games or go shopping or colour. I just need you to be with me; to let me feel okay to just...exist with you. I need prayer, I need companionship, I need to feel like I have value. That I'm loved, not forgotten, and not a bother.

Sorry I'm not more perky. Believe me, I wish I was.
All my love,

Another Goodbye

There have been a lot of changes and goodbyes this summer. Today I found out that my grandparents' cottage, my favourite place in the whole world, was sold. It might not seem like a big deal, but it is to me. In the middle of all our moves and changing times, it was the only place that was a constant. I've been going there since I was an infant. My dad's been going since he was a teen. My parents buried a time capsule. My cousin and I did, too. We tried to dig them up, but couldn't find them. Now some other family might find them.
I caught my first fish there. I witnessed my first hail storm there. I went on the inner tube, learned about leeches getting stuck on my foot, flew a kite, picked berries, played old board games on rainy days...it's where I felt safe and happiest. Knowing that I won't ever see it again breaks my heart.
This is a really short post, I know. But I really just wanted to get these words out there.
Goodbye, Solitude, Tranquility, Shalom, and you dreaded outhouses, goodbye big rock, deck, tiny kitchen, pump water. You will forever be my favourite place.

Love,

Top 10 Tips For Better Sleep

September is approaching way too quickly, but that's okay because lots of fun happens with the coming of autumn (at least that's what I keep telling myself). When it actually get's here, I'll probably dive further into fall activities, but for now, I'm going to focus on something that is not only helpful with school starting, but also for year-round. That is sleep. 

I have a pretty easy time getting to sleep, thankfully. But sometimes, especially in the summer, getting to bed and to sleep can be challenging. I'm kind of like a four-year-old in that I don't want the fun to end! However, I know that I am generally more happy, energetic (if that were even possible), optimistic, motivated, and productive when I get a good night's sleep. So what happens if you have a hard time getting those precious z's? I am certainly not a sleep expert, but I thought I'd share some tips and tricks that I use to help me get my beauty rest.

Tip #1: Take a Quick Shower after Supper

I don't know why, but being clean and in fresh PJ's makes me feel better instantly. In the summer, I like to rinse in cold water, which is good for cooling off. 

Tip #2: Fan

I used to hate having a fan on at night. That's because I generally run cold. However, this summer has been super hot, and night is no exception. Having a fan blowing on the lowest speed. This is also good because I need a blanket or at least a sheet covering me in order to sleep and the fan makes this not unbearable. 

*Bonus tip* Don't get your hair caught in fan. This hurts and you will get stuck and have to call someone like your sister to come and help free you (not that this ever happened to me...)

Tip #3: Lie down with your legs up against the wall

I don't do this every night, but if I'm having a hard time winding down, I've heard this helps. I find it relaxing, but I might just be weird.

Tip #4: Count Breaths, not Sheep

My friend taught me this one. First, breathe into your belly for ten breaths. Make them really big. Then breathe normally for a few counts. Then breathe into your ribs for ten breaths. Breathe normally for a few counts. Next, breathe into your collar bone for ten breaths. Lastly, breathe normally and notice how much deeper and slower your breathing has become. I'm not going to lie, I'm usually asleep before I get to the second round of breaths.

Tip #5: Make a List or Journal

At times (okay, a lot of the time), my mind is so full of information and stuff I need to do, that I can’t really shut it off. I find that making a “to do” list for the next day  to be very helpful, as then I don’t worry about forgetting anything. If you aren’t really a “list” person, you can always journal.  

Tip #6: Set a little “ritual” 

Lots of people have things they do before bed, but are they helpful? Back in the hospital, I would read for a bit,  get cleaned up, wash my face, and sometimes put lotion on before getting into bed, where I would read some more. I found magazines would keep me awake, but novels or some non-fiction reading helped me settle down. Whatever your little “ritual” is, make sure it’s slow, calming, and quiet, not hectic and rushed.

Tip #7: Tell yourself that It’s Time to Go to Sleep

This one is something I still struggle with. A part of my brain still always wants to stay up late, since I can. But sometimes I really need to remind myself that I need sleep, and the sooner I get to sleep, the sooner I can wake up and do the stuff I want to. To help, after reading for a bit, I would, with my light still on, rest my book on my chest and close my eyes. I’d stay like that until I started to really feel sleepy, at which point I would turn off the light and either listen to some soft music, or just go to sleep, depending on my level of sleepiness.  

Tip #8: Use a Neck Pillow 

For Christmas last year, I got a travel neck pillow, and it was super helpful for when I had to sleep sitting up, and even now. It helps me to relax my head while sleeping on my back, without getting a kink that hurts in the morning. Sleeping on my back or side also helps me not have pain in my lower back when I wake up. My pillow is not the typical microfiber ones; it is fleece and I think has buckwheat filling, which makes it heavier. We got it for pretty cheap at one of those discount stores before it went out of business, but I’m pretty certain you can find a tutorial online to make one yourself.

Tip #9: Avoid using your Bed except for Sleep

I know, it’s soft and comfy, but if you only use your bed for sleep, you will begin to associate it with sleeping, not doing work or other things. Try the couch, a table, desk, or other area to do work, and leave your mattress for snoozing.

Tip #10: Don’t sweat if you can’t sleep

We all have those nights. Don’t worry if you can’t seem to get to sleep. Even lying in bed and resting is beneficial. If you worry about not sleeping, it will only get harder. If you don’t sleep well one night, the worst that could happen is a slightly sleepy day. And don’t sweat nights that you don’t get to sleep until late. Live a little. Go to a movie, hang out with friends. Your body will adjust. 

Hopefully some of these tips will prove to be helpful. Like I said, I am not a sleep expert. These are just some things that I personally have found work for me whenever I have trouble sleeping. 

May the rest of your August be happy and may you feel well-rested in time for September.

<<>>>

Farewell Freyja

Today was a tearful day for our family as we bid a final goodbye to our dear dog, Freyja. We knew it was coming. We knew almost a year ago that things were wrong. But she kept up longer than even the vet had thought. She was put down in a peaceful state. She was already only partly with us, and it was with heavy hearts that we left the animal hospital and returned home to what now feels like an empty house.

Freyja was a surprise. For me, at least. I suspect my sister knew, since she’s hard to keep a secret from. On December 25^th, 2006, we were informed of her arrival into our home the next day. She was so little, that I could hold her in one of my own little arms. I was so excited to go to sleep that night because her box would be in my room. Little did I know what I had gotten myself into. All night she cried and whined and would not go to sleep—no matter how much classical music I played (it is for this reason that I still find it hard to hear Mozart). It was in the wee hours of the morning that I hysterically informed my mother “I don’t think I like her very much”. The next day however, with that sweet little face of hers, my heart melted and it’s been that way ever since. She wormed her way not only into our family’s hearts, but even into the hearts of die-hard cat lovers.  She was abundantly happy in the company of anyone, even the vet!


She sure had her quirks though (which may be why she fit in so well with us). She could be racing around the house, but the second you picked her up or placed a towel or blanket over her head, she would freeze. It wasn’t until she was about seven years old that she figured out how to remove said covering off of her head.

Even though she was often well behaved (she prayed before dinner for goodness sake!), Freyja also got into her fair share of mischief. One time, when I was about thirteen, my friend came over for a sleepover and we made chocolate pudding. A big bowl. With spoons in our hands, we were ready to tuck in when my mum asked if we wanted to rent a movie (yes, we still had that back then!). We made sure to close the door to keep the dog out as we trekked out to find a movie (“Freaky Friday”, most likely). Upon our return, we found the door to our room open, and the bowl empty. Now I don’t just mean mostly empty. This bowl looked like it had been through the dishwasher.  Freyja didn’t have a speck of the stuff on her or anywhere else! Had it not been for her abundant energy, we would never have been able to prove it was her.

Dear Freyja, sweet, sweet Freyja, you were the best dog ever. You always will be. I loved falling asleep next to you last night. I loved cuddling you today, and I loved playing with you when you had the energy to run. To paraphrase Robert Munsch, “We’ll love you forever, we’ll like you for always. For as long as we’re living, our puppy you’ll be.”

Rest in Peace Freyja.

Freyja
~ October 13th, 2006- August 8th, 2016~

Changing Times

Where do I even start? It's been quite a month, with fun, loss, and much change.
A couple weeks ago, I went on a holiday to Salt Lake City, Utah, to visit a friend and meet Chris Colfer (one of my favourite authors). It was such a blast! Not only was I able to travel for the first time in four years unencumbered by ED, I actually got to try new restaurants (like IHOP, which, by the way, is now my favourite restaurant), new activities like a super scary water slide, and even have a sleepover. It was really freeing to stay up late into the night talking, watching funny youtube clips, playing games, eating oreos, and nerding it up. It pushed me a little further out of my comfort zone, and in the end, I was greatly rewarded,
I'm back home now, though, and reality is setting in. Summer seems to be slipping through my fingers, and I keep trying to hold on to it, amongst other things. It's another season of change. For the first time in years, I have to say goodbye to a few friends, and hope we stay in touch. Two friends of mine got married and I could not be happier for the couple, who, in my opinion, are perfect for each other, while another friend has moved across the globe just yesterday. Other friends are entering new stages of life, either with work or relationships or both. It's starting to get a tad overwhelming. I didn't cry really at the wedding. I didn't cry when I said goodbye to friends. I didn't even cry when I found out our dog is possibly entering her final days. But yesterday it all came crashing down.
A few days ago, I hurt my back, and have been in pain ever since. I guess it was the "straw that broke the camel's back"(no pun intended), because after leaving the chiropractor and returning home, I finally broke down and cried. Not just cute, delicate tears that can easily be wiped away, but sniffling, wet, sloppy tears and sobs. I felt at a loss for what to do. I felt lonely, wishing for the past of carefree days spent playing and never worrying about the future or what it held.
Thankfully, as the afternoon progressed, I began to feel better, and even laugh a bit. And today, even though I still feel like I'm losing some things, I have a bit of a different perspective. Seeing my dog lying outside, sick and unwilling to even come inside or get up at all, I feel a deep pain in the pit of my stomach. I feel like something wonderful is ending. Maybe it is, but not for me. Her life might be drawing to a close, but mine isn't. Only a portion or two of my life are ending, or even just changing. I've never really been good with change, unless I initiate it. Over the past few months, as I've watched my dear loving dog slip deeper and deeper, it's been painful and hard to think about a life without her. Sure, she may be a dog, but she was there for the hardest years of my life. But yesterday I finally managed to say, "I love you. It's ok if you go now. I'll always love you." Even if she lives another ten years, or dies tonight, I know that she was here at just the right time. She has been the best dog I could have ever hoped for.
It was this morning that it struck me: we each are the main characters in our own stories. Even though one person's (or dog's) story may be ending, or else morphing and changing, that doesn't mean ours are, We may be affected by the other stories, but in the end, we each have our own. We can't just stop midway through. We can't just say, "well, since their story is going this way, I guess mine has to go exactly the same too". We have to keep living our lives, our stories, our days, our chapters. Everyone is at a different stage, page, and timeline. We weave and twist ourselves together and help shape each other, and we'll all come out different in the end. But we have to let God, the Ultimate Author, finish writing our journey.

All my love,

Horses and Corn

Happy Canada Day!
While it may be overcast and drizzly here on the coast, my morning has been perfectly splendid.
For several months now, my mum's been talking to a lovely woman who works at our vet's office about her horseback riding. To my utter delight, she invited me and my mum to come to the stable where she rides and spend some time with the horse she's been riding, a beautiful Morgan Horse (how appropriate, right?!) named Rock. Today was the first day we've been able to go, and let me tell you, it was wonderful. He's such a sweetie! But instead of rambling on, I thought today's post would mostly be some pictures of what I've been up to this morning. Enjoy!

Rock, the handsome boy!

Our friend getting ready to ride

Time to head to a local farm!

Picking out and shucking corn

This cute little family of carrots forever connected

So my Mama and I brought home sweet corn to enjoy with my Papa as our Canada Day supper :)

xoxo,

Becoming "Unfrozen"

Today I thought I'd share with you about something that no one really talks about with eating disorders. At least, I had never heard of it. That is, until I experienced it myself.

When you have an eating disorder, your mind and emotions are kind of put on "hold" (at least in my case). That isn't to say that you never experience emotions of any kind. In fact, I don't think I've ever felt so scared, angry, or sad as I felt during the darkest times of my disorder. But the longer I had this "disease" festering inside of me, affecting my body as well as my mind, the more "numb" I became. I know some people who would give anything to become numb-to not feel the deep, deep despair that they deal with on a daily basis. I, too, would probably say the same thing if I were in their shoes. The only downside is that it also takes your joy. Everything feels frozen, put on hold, stuck. Your mind can't concentrate or be entertained by anything. Books, TV, movies, conversations. All of it becomes meaningless and dull. I couldn't laugh. Not only did I have a hard time seeing the humour in anything, but, because of my compromised state, my body also physically could not laugh without feeling overwhelmingly weak. During the last few weeks before entering hospital, my days mostly consisted of lying on the couch, watching TV, and sleeping on and off. I was frozen; mind, body, and soul.
Even several days and weeks in hospital I was frozen. Yet slowly, I began to "thaw". I began to feel bouts of hope, of peace, of joy. I started laughing again. I started telling jokes. I started reading ravenously and actually enjoying myself. I started to make conversation, to make friends. I started to feel more like myself, like Morrigan. 

It's now been a month since my discharge. I have felt more joy, more love, more encouragement than ever before. But, unfortunately, that's not all. With beginning to feel more, the feelings of sadness, of discouragement, of loneliness. Basically everything that was "put on hold" is now beginning to come back, and it feels strange, and overwhelming at times.
Thankfully, I'd consider myself a pretty positive person, and bad moods don't last long for me. But I also have a hard time crying, so I don't get a sense of release. I've tried watching sad movies to help, but they tend to just make me feel more sad, not cry. However, cry or not, the feelings usually pass and I can move on with my life. Don't get me wrong--it hasn't always been that way. In fact, in the past, I would easily let a bad mood ruin  my entire day, sometimes days. But I have a new way of looking at things now. As my dad likes to say, "Every second can be a new start of your day". My mum and I actually used to pretend to rewind, or else get back into bed and "wake up" again. Now that I'm a little more resilient, I can more easily just accept that although in this moment I feel bad, it doesn't mean it will always be that way. I just have to keep reminding myself not to throw in the towel. Don't write the whole day off as a disaster. Live each moment at a time (boy, that sounds cheesy) and move on to the next.
So, any regrets? No. Not at all. Even though I might have to deal with some more sombre moments, I can laugh now. God's given me back all the smiles I thought I'd lost. And that makes up for all the sad times.
Have a great week!
xoxo,

  

Hospital Pictures

Hello loves! I know it's been a few weeks, but here are some of the pictures taken while in hospital. Hope you enjoy!

View from my window up on the third floor

Before and after getting first NG tube put in (but before my SECOND NG tube)

My room down on the first floor.

After my THIRD NG tube (I am relieved because there was less pain, and the one on the right is before I got x-rayed)

After bone density was tested and I was waiting, came across this lovely sign.

Braided one of the other patient's hair

I could thankfully still drink tea, just through a straw.

Eugene (left) and his replacement, Charlie (right) after too much of my hair got tangled in Eugene's wheels

Left flower is from a sweet girl who surprised me with it, and the one on the right was from a kind man who simply placed it on my table and said "yellow means friendship" AWWW!

Starting to go "stir-crazy"

Georgie, the cat who likes to hang about the hospital

The BEAUTIFUL patients' garden

Who says there's no place for laughter in a hospital? It's the best medicine. This is me laughing at my own face. Haha

A little blue, but a little sunshine

I'm feeling a little blue today. The reasons why are simple, yet at the same time complicated.
You see, after four years of living in the clutches of ED, my social life has suffered greatly. That, in addition to being a natural introvert has left me feeling more than a little excluded or somehow "different" from the rest of the people my age. I feel disconnected, separate, unable to fully engage in the social "norms" of your average person in their twenties. But, then again, looking back, I've always felt this way to a degree.
I started homeschooling when I was thirteen. The years that followed were some of the best, and worst, years of my life. While I loved the learning part of homeschooling (and my introverted self loved not comparing myself to others or having to interact when I didn't want to), I often found myself as an outsider when I was thrust into social interactions. The other homeschoolers all seemed to know each other, whereas I only knew a few, and my school friends would understandably talk about things that happened in school. Still, I had friends, and a couple really close ones.
When I developed my ED, a few things coincided with it. One being various people I was very close to moving away, and another being that I was finding myself drawing further and further away from any friends I cared about. My ED took up all my time. And any energy I had left was precious.
After about four years of wrestling with ED and insecurities, I finally have started to heal. Now I actually ENJOY being with people (well, one or two at a time-it's not like my whole personality has changed!) But the friends I assumed I'd have as soon as I began to get better have moved on. It's not like I've been ostracized or anything, but the blunt truth is this: while I was stuck in a limbo, almost frozen in my body and mind, my friends were still going on with their lives (as they should have!) and growing and turning into their adult-post-high school selves. Friends that I thought I'd have for life are simply in a different place now. I rarely see my friends from school, and when I do, it can feel awkward because of the time spent apart. I do have a couple friends I've made post-school age, but many of them are older, have children and grandchildren at that! They are from church, or knitting group, or some other activity that most twenty-somethings would not be interested in. While it's good to have friends of a variety of ages, I also know that it would be good to spend time with people my own age.
One of my close friends lives across the country, and I maybe see her every couple of years, The rest of the time we rely on letters (yes, the "old-fashioned" kind), texts, e-mails, etc. My other close friend thankfully lives in town, and I try to see her every week, as she brings me great joy and I love her company. I am very thankful to have her as a friend. But the pain, the emptiness over the sort of "loss" over previous friendship still stays with me, makes me break down into either quiet tears or full on sobs of grief.


It's a couple hours later now and I'm feeling better. I had to get my blood taken and other tests done this morning, and then I got to talk to my amazing sister over the telephone. The sun also decided to come out from behind the clouds, which always manages to cheer me up. Life's kinda funny that way, you know? I mean, sure, as soon as I get reminded about the pain felt earlier it will probably hit me again. But for now, I'm happy. And all we have is now. So I'm going to enjoy it.
xoxo,

Where have I been?

Where have I been???? HOME! That's where! That's right, as of last Wednesday, I have been home (*insert your favourite gleeful face here*)! I'm sorry it's taken me a while to get back in the blogging zone, but I was kind of in transition mode for the past week. Let me give you the somewhat-abbreviated version of what I've been up to.

As I said, I was discharged last Wednesday from hospital. It was a very joyous occasion, celebrated with donuts on the way home. This in itself was a milestone, as it was the first one I've had in about five years (as is the case with pretty much everything I've been eating lately. If you follow me on instagram, I'm sorry for all the pictures of food...it's just so happy and encouraging for me.)
The first few days were pretty mellow. It's been really nice to enjoy spending time with my parents (and dog!) in the comfort of our home. I still continue to text and see some of my friends I made in hospital, in addition to meeting up with a few of my old friends. Sunday was really nice because I not only got to socialize with the AMAZING congregation, but I also got to HEAR my dad's sermons, instead of simply reading his notes by myself. After church last week, my mum and I went to the Francophone Festival here in town, where we met some great people and got to practice our French.
Monday was the start of a very busy week. It started with seeing a friend who I hadn't seen in weeks, and consisted entirely of catching up while we did our nails (matching pink, in case you were wondering; see photo below).

Monday evening, my parents and I watched our church softball team play another church.
Tuesday was filled with appointments (three in all) and by the time evening rolled around I was feeling pretty tired, but not tired enough to miss a tupperware party that another friend of mine was hosting!
Wednesday included dropping yarn donations off with a knitting group I'm a part of, and then a rainy afternoon looking at wedding magazines with yet another friend (what can I say? We just love looking at all the pretty dresses!)
Thursday held another appointment, but I got to see the same friend as on Monday, while both our mums ran errands. She had a crazy amount of fibre to spin, so she did that and I knit. That night, mum and I went to a lady from our church's house to watch "Big Hero 6" with her and a couple other ladies from our Bible study. I must say, I laughed just as hard as the first time I saw it.
Friday had one more appointment, and then we (ok, my mum) got the house ready for students from our local University potluck and Bible Exploration that my parents host every week during the school year. It was a bit challenging, but God gave me the strength and courage to eat with everyone.
Saturday I went to a farmers' market and the library. And that about sums it up.
I'll try to write more about personal feelings, thoughts and challenges faced, but I just wanted to give you guys an update to let you know that I haven't fallen off the face of the earth.
Thank you all for your comments, thoughts, and prayers! God bless!