Books of 2015

I love books. I always have. There is just something about them that I find so comforting; so endearing. If I ever have the pleasure of visiting you, I will likely scan for books. My friends can attest to this. When I would go to friend's houses, sometimes I would just examine their bookshelves, if they happened to have one, fascinated by what they were reading, or had read, or hoped to someday read. To this day, my favourite conversation starter is "What have you been reading?" It's just second nature to me. Books have always been there; my whole life. I also live in a house full of readers. My sister could read at two, in fact! While I might not have been so impressively young, I still caught the "reading bug" at a young age. My parents often read to us, even after we could read by ourselves. The first chapter book I ever asked for and was given was "The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe" by C.S. Lewis. I knew the story already, but I wanted a copy of my own (that's another thing about me: I love finding just the right book and adding it to my collection). 

While I've never really been a part of an actual book club, I still yearn to be. My problem is that I like to read what I want; not necessarily what others pick for me. goodreads is a great site for nursing my habit. Why am I telling you all this? Well, to put it simply, I want to talk about books. With YOU! With EVERYONE! I want to share with you what I'm reading, maybe my thoughts on some books, and, most of all, I want YOU (yes you, the one staring at this screen right now!) to tell me what books YOU'RE reading!

I'll start by telling you what I've read these past two months:
My favourites for January come hand in hand. If you've read any of my previous posts, you might have heard the name "Elle Fowler" mentioned. She and her sister, Blair, both have youtube channels. Being a fan of theirs, I soon found out they had written a book together; two in fact. The first is called "Beneath the Glitter".

Now, don't be turned away by what appears to be a book of "fluff" as my dad would say. I myself was skeptical at first. In fact, I had checked the book out of the library, then returned it, not having been read, at least three times before I said to myself Just pick it up and give it a shot! So I did. The first sentence was hard for me to get past. It talks about it being the "perfect day for kissing". Since I don't happen to be the kind of girl that enjoys romance books of any kind, it took a lot for me to continue reading (At least give the first chapter a chance!) After that first sentence, things went more smoothly. I still had my doubts, but I ventured on. And on. And on and on and on and on until I was done. Here's the thing: it was not what I expected. Here I was expecting some fluffy romance or a book about makeup (which, I'll admit, there is some), not at all realizing it would turn into a mystery I couldn't put down! I thought it was great! Instead of writing a long-winded "book report" of sorts, I will just give you the basic plot line. This is a story of two sisters (based loosely on the authors) that are making their way in L.A., being internet sensations, and trying to launch a new makeup line. However, sometimes fame can come with unexpected rivals, betrayals, and scandals. The real question is, can these two sisters remain close, despite what they're up against?
I've told you what I think of it. Be sure to check it out if you get the chance. This book was COMPLETELY out of my typical reading genres, and I'm glad I gave it a shot. Opened my mind to a whole world of books I might otherwise have missed.

The Second book is actually a sequel to "Beneath the Glitter". It is called "Where Beauty Lies".

 Since the first book leaves you with a bit of a cliffhanger, I was really excited to read the second book. I began reading furiously, but soon found myself a little bit....hesitant, once again. This one takes place in New York, particularly New York Fashion Week.  Now, being a sister to a fashion designer, I have seen my fair share of fashion weeks. What annoyed me initially was how easy it all came to these fictional characters. My sister was not simply "discovered" and then immediately whisked away into a professional career. It took a great deal of hard work on her part, and continues to be a very difficult business to break into. Therefore I found myself a little frustrated at how seemingly easy it was for the characters in this book. However, that aside, I really did enjoy it. There was a little more mystery to it, which intrigued me, as well as the overall story of two sisters making it "big" in the world made me happy. They also portrayed the more "ugly" side of fashion industry very well. It can be a little cut throat. What made it great? The fact that you don't quite know what will happen until the last page. I love that in any book.

 Having a sister, I am a sucker for any story that involves sisterly love and devotion. However, I will try my best to be as impartial as possible while giving my rating to these two books. Before I do, here is how my rating system goes:
1 Star = did not like it
2 Stars = I endured it
3 Stars = I liked it
4 Stars = I really liked it
5 Stars = I loved it so much I want to re-read it over and over

I would give the first book 4-4 1/2 stars
Second book I give 4 stars

I would recommend these books to girls, particularly teen/young adult girls who either a)enjoy fashion, beauty, girly things, mystery  or b)Are fans of Elle and/or Blair Fowler and would like a small insight into their lives (well, fictional lives, that is)

The last book I will mention is "Entwined" by Heather Dixon.

This book did not immediately grab me. But, being who I am, I ventured on and, sure enough, I was quickly devouring it. I hear that it is based on the fairy tale of "The Twelve Dancing Princesses" (one of the few fairy tales I haven't actually read). I love fairy tales. I have and probably always will find them captivating. Usually I hesitate toward other renditions of classics, but since I hadn't ever heard the original fairy tale, I thought I'd give it a shot, since the description interested me. I will do my best to do it justice, but please keep in mind that I am terrible at summing up books (in previous years, my book reports would go on for pages, in my tiny handwriting too!) The main character, Azalea, is the oldest of twelve sisters. On the night of her twelfth sister's birth, however, he mother dies, leaving behind twelve girls who love to dance, and a very strict king who thinks such things foolish and not at all suitable, especially in the year of mourning, following the queen's death. Under his orders, all of them are to wear black, not go outside, close all the windows and shutters, and, worst of all, cease to dance. But there are traces of magic left in the kingdom; magic that was supposed to have been destroyed many years ago. Azalea discovers part of the magic when a passage is discovered in the Princesses bedroom; a passage that leads them to a Pavilion, where they are free to dance the night away, thanks to a mysterious man, known as the Keeper. But with such unexpected joy in the midst of tragedy, is there a price to pay? 
I'll leave you with that. Now, my review: 
Points go for it managing to keep my attention (as it is on the long side), as well as for the writing itself. While I didn't enjoy all of the particular traits of some characters, I feel no need to deduct anything for, as a good writer, one must make you able to hate a character while loving another. Therefore, I give it a solid 4 Stars.
  If you love a good fairy tale, or dancing, or mystery, or bravery, then I think you will love this book. I was both sad and happy as it came to a close. Once again, I think girls might be more inclined to pick this one up, I still think it a good read for anyone.  


With that, I draw to a close what was originally going to be a quick review of one singular book. I do plan to do more of these types of posts in the future, but I won't go into detail on EVERY book I read. If you would like to see a full list of what I'm reading, what I have read, and what I hope to read in the future, you can find me on my goodreads account where I frequently post updates.

Until next time then,
keep reading!

Love,
Morrigan Shay

How I changed my "To Do's" into "Done!"

Earlier this year/late last year, when making resolutions, I decided I wanted to be more organized. Who doesn’t make that goal at least once in their life? I’m a semi organized person already, but when it came to getting stuff done, over the past few months, I’ve fallen short. This doesn’t mean that I didn’t accomplish ANYTHING, but I wasn’t doing the things I had been meaning, or wanting, to do. Coincidentally, earlier this year, I was suddenly introduced to the world of planners. A youtuber/blogger was the first person to introduce it to me. Her name is Elle Fowler (you can read her blog here ). She had an unfortunate event in autumn that left her with a broken back and LOTS of time of bed rest. If you have ever been stuck in bed, you’ll know how quickly it can get old. Being an organized girl, she decided to re-kindle her love of planners, stickers, etc. She posted and commented on others who shared a similar interest. I had no idea how much there was to it!

 When I was in school, you mostly wrote your assignments and had your parent or teacher sign to make sure you did them. They were dull things. Things you stuffed in your backpack and, come June, didn’t know what to do with. But seeing pictures like these, some of my favourite things piqued my interest. Before I knew it, I was actually watching videos about how others decorated their planner, planned out their day, etc. Now, please understand, I rarely jump on the bandwagon. But this time, I did. However, not having bundles of money to throw out at a new trend was not something I could do; especially since I wasn’t even sure I’d like it, or gain anything from it. So I bought a nice, basic planner.

Immediately, I didn’t know where to start. I began thinking ‘what have I gotten myself into? I don’t DO that much, so why did I get a PLANNER, for goodness sake?’.  I didn’t have many appointments; I didn’t have many social engagements (not being a party girl myself). And even if I did, I thought, I don’t have all these cool planner stickers or more “professional” planner (seriously, what does that even MEAN?) My sad little planner looked blank.

I shared my “woes” with a friend of mine, who, upon hearing that I didn’t have anything to PUT in the planner said, “Why don’t you write goals for the day? Something you want to do or accomplish?” These words were so simple, yet they struck me as genius! I love lists! I love goals! I love putting little “checks” on the things I do! So, I set to work.
Friday nights, my family is pretty busy, but I am usually hold up in my room with my dog. Instead of browsing the web, and letting myself get bored, I started decorating my planner. I used washi tape, and some simple stickers that my mum had gotten for cheap. I also happen to have a large sticker collection of my own. Before I knew it, my formerly dull planner was alive with colour!

Next, I wrote in goals. Usually, I am the kind of person to put down a lot of goals, and then get upset if I don’t get them ALL done. This time, however, I only set up a few small goals throughout the week. I also added a bookmark to help me keep up to date.

I got through most of them, and felt proud of myself. I did neglect one, because I was tired and just wasn’t in the mood. Instead of agonizing about it, I simply crossed it off neatly, and moved on. 

It’s only been a couple of weeks, but I’m finding this method works for me.
Here are some of my tips for how you can make your own planner more pretty and (hopefully) more encouraging for you to get stuff done:

Pens! Lots of pens (make sure they don't bleed!). of all shapes and sizes, and all different colours. You can choose to colour coordinate based on the event, or whatever you'd like. Stickers are also a big plus! You don't have to go buy "grown up" stickers. Old stickers, cheap, dollar store stickers, or any that you think are pretty will work. As you can see, I love stickers. Also Washi Tape. You can see how I've used it, and you can also do a quick search online on other ways to jazz up your book. Be careful, though! Washi Tape is addictive!

Old Paint Strip? Not anymore! Now it's a cute bookmark.

My final tip is this: keep at it!

If you would like more details on anything, just let me know. Hope to see you soon!

-Morrigan Shay

Time

Time. Time is something that stresses me out. All clocks in my house are covered. My phone is set to a purposefully random and incorrect time. When I walk around town, I lower my head when I know a clock is nearby. I just don’t like to know the time. Various people have asked me what it is about time that causes me to panic, and I never quite know what to say. It’s a mixture. Sometimes it’s because I fear the sense of too much time (meaning that there are still so many hours, minutes, etc. to fill before something enjoyable happens). Other times, it’s the fear of not having enough of it. I worry that too much of the day has passed; that I didn’t accomplish everything that I wanted to. Most times, however, it has to do with a very obsessive compulsive way of thinking. By this I mean that I feel stressed, anxious, panicked, or upset, about time in general.  If I eat at a certain time, and I know that time, I feel that that is how it must be from now on. It brings about more OCD thoughts, more ticks, and a general feeling of anxiety. This might stem from when I was younger, and knew how to read clocks that weren’t digital. When I was in the fourth grade, I sat near a boy who did not know how to do this. We both shared a great dislike for certain subjects, and it was up to me to keep a record and fill him in on just how much time we had left until the next bell. Time didn’t worry me then.

I had a bedtime until I was well into my teen years, and I would always be watching the clock, hoping that maybe I could squeeze a few more minutes in before being told to go to bed. This rarely worked, but I tried.  To me it almost felt like I could WILL the clock to pass the time slower as it approached nine o’clock. It doesn’t work. Trust me.

My time issues began a few years ago. I looked forward to a certain time of day, and I was actually finding myself depressed if I looked at a clock and found that I still had several more hours to go.  Over the past year, my family (being as accepting, loving, and supportive as they are) started covering up obvious clocks, such as the one on our stove. It’s only covered by a dish cloth, so they can easily see it themselves at their wish, but it helps me block it out. My anxiety regarding time has gradually improved a bit, to where I can now, depending on my mood and what I’m doing, look at the time and not really care. This is wonderful. It’s nice to not live in fear of seeing a clock at random and going into panic mode.

You might be asking yourself why I am telling you all this, or even Why is she wasting my time? Because, my dear ones, I have just spent over fifteen minutes writing this. It was a challenge. A challenge that I was determined to conquer: To sit and do nothing but write for fifteen minutes. I didn't know what to write about, so I wrote what was on my mind: Time. 

Death, and dealing with it all

Monday, February 9th, 2015/evening

"Well, I was with her; just she and I, when she died."

For the past few weeks, I've been hearing bits and pieces of this woman's health. When she was supposed to move to hospice, I wondered how long she had, but I didn't want to ask. This morning, my dad said it would probably be in the next twenty-four hours. It happened tonight.
The way my dad told me, it was as though he felt happy for her. Peaceful, and still full of optimism. In fact, when he first walked in the door I breathed a sigh of relief, as he merrily hung his coat and put on his slippers. But moments later, while I was reading in bed, he told me the news. 

I don't know how I should feel. I mean, I had only met the woman maybe a couple of times. But she was (is? What happens when you die? Do you cease to exist?) younger than both my parents. Her daughter is my sister's age. The cancer came so suddenly. 

I was crying this morning, after my parents' first visit to her. After the second visit, I was okay, but anxiously awaiting news. The news that arrived after my dad's third visit of the day. I guess the third and last time.
It's not as though I was close to the woman. I rarely saw her, maybe once a year, if that, but it still hit home. Maybe because it was cancer, or maybe it was because my dad has been visiting and sitting with her for the last few weeks. Maybe it's because death is seeming to creep up around me. 

When people find out no one that close to me has died, they are shocked. All of my grandparents are alive. There was a man my mother worked for who passed away when I was ten, and another dear man from our church when I was about fourteen. I've never attended a funeral. But the thought of death scares me. I'm not afraid of dying. I'm afraid of my loved ones dying. I'm afraid of being left behind. 

A few years ago, I was on youtube and stumbled upon a young girl named Talia Castellano. You may have heard of her. She was (and will remain!) a strong influence on many people. Some will say it's because of her cancer, but I say it's because of her awesome attitude DESPITE the cards she was dealt. She passed away in July, 2013. She was thirteen years old. That hit me like a brick. For the whole week, and month, before her death, I was gripped with a fear of her dying, but something inside me said she'd make it. I prayed and bartered with God, begging Him to keep this little girl alive and well. I made promises. I sent her encouraging words. But, on July 16th, I opened my twitter to find out the news. She had died. Initially, I was just so stunned, that I kind of was in a daze. I was shocked, but sort of at peace. A part of me thought and hoped that maybe it was some kind of mistake. But is wasn't. I went about my life, sad, but not torn apart. That came later. The anger and fear came later too. But this too passed. I feel for those who knew her personally. I don't think you ever stop missing someone.

Before that, I found out my cousin had cancer. Serious cancer. Well, what cancer isn't? And then my Uncle had it. He is now Cancer-free, but my cousin is still fighting. Fighting hard.

A man in my church came back from his honeymoon to find out he had cancer. After several months of not seeing him, not since his surgery and a visit to see him in hospital, I saw him the mall in December. He looked older, and like every movement hurt him. He came to church a couple times, and each time, I thought he looked more tired, more strained. I don't know what's going on with him now, but I pray it's good. Even though people have said it doesn't look it.

A few months ago, a woman from my parents' church found she had a tumor in her brain. She's still fighting.

All of these people are fighting. And it's not just cancer. I have several friends who are fighting against their bodies. Whether it be physical or mental, people everywhere, including myself, are fighting. And for what? I know what I want. At least, what I want when I'm in my right mind. And that's contentment. Happiness. Joy. PEACE. When things are tough, like they have been for a couple months now, I really wish God would take my life. I wish I could just throw in the towel. But every time I say that, my mum reminds me, be it in a whisper or shout of desperation: "God gave you breath! That means He wants you to LIVE today!" And it's true. God has given me breath. He gave me life, and every day that I wake up, no matter my mood or state of mind, I try to remember: God woke me up this morning. For every moment He gives, I try to be grateful. When I am hurting, and in trying times, and all I want is for it all to be over. When YOU feel this way, we've got to remember: There's a purpose for us. We aren't just here to take up space. There's a reason we are alive. Even if it doesn't feel like it. There is a reason for everything. In your pain, your discomfort, there is something good that will come from it. I have to believe that. But I choose to, too.